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RELATIONAL AGGRESSION:
THE SOCIAL DESTRUCTION OF SELF-NARRATIVES
In keeping with ‘cultural wisdom’, studies of aggression in children have consistently
documented higher rates of aggressive behavior in boys than in girls. Recently, however, a
few dissenting voices have begun to suggest that these findings are the result of biases built
into key defining elements within the research itself. In particular, authors such as Owens,
Shute & Slee (2000); Rigby (1998); Lagerspetz et al (1998, 1993); Salmivalli, et al (1997,
1996); Crick & Grotpeter (1995); and Bjorkqvist et al (1992, 1992a) have argued that
aggression has been conflated with overt physical acts, and that these behaviors do not
adequately express aggressiveness in females. While they accept the standard definition of
aggression as behavior specifically intended to hurt or harm others, they argue that children
who aggress—children who attempt to inflict harm on their peers--do so in a variety of
ways. Crick and Grotpeter suggest that children aggress in gender-specific ways, by aiming
to thwart or damage goals specific to male or female peer groups. Since physical
dominance is consistent with the values and goals important to boys, it is reasonable to
define male aggression in terms of hitting, pushing, and threatening to beat up upon others.
However, girls tend to value relationships, and much—if not all—social interaction is focused
around friendships, allegiance and intimacy. Therefore, it stands to reason that “girls’
attempts to harm others would focus on relational issues and would include behaviors that
are intended to significantly damage another child’s friendships or feelings of inclusion by
the peer group.” (Crick & Grotpeter, p.711). Aggression on the part of girls (and
increasingly, of boys) is expressed as social manipulation: behavior which aims to damage
both peer relationships and social status.
Sociologists need to broaden their studies of peer culture in order to productively
explore the new forms of conflict which are being defined by this shift. In this paper I hope
to begin that work by integrating the work of cognitive, developmental, and social
psychologists within a sociological framework. While my primary concern is with the impact
of relational aggression on internal self-narratives which emerge during pre- and adolescent
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Convention