Through the eyes 1
Through the eyes of others: The role of relational value cues and
self-regulatory resources in monitoring one's social environment.
In general, people want to know if others like them. Indeed, as the cocktail party
phenomenon so aptly demonstrates, people’s attention quickly gravitates towards the mention
of their name, likely with the intention to discern the valence of others’ comments. Certainly
with relative ease, most people can effortlessly recall many overt instances where they viewed
such relational or “likeability” information as rather important. Such occasions may have
involved hiring decisions or simply the inclusion into a particular social group, although the
most obvious circumstances likely involve potential interpersonal relationships.
In colloquial terms, people may often describe trying to ‘feel’ this “sense of likeability.”
Practically, this ‘sensing’ involves interpreting the behavior of others in order to judge how
much they may like or accept us. Put differently, as people attend to the behavioral expressions
of others they try to discern the underlying implications that these reactions may hold. However,
at times trying to accurately read this likeability “thermometer” can be rather taxing, requiring
people to effortfully exert some degree of energy in order to regulate their attention and
concentration. Indeed, if people’s capacity to engage in regulatory efforts is compromised (e.g.,
by diminished energy levels), then “reading” their likeability or degree of social acceptance may
end up being off base, which at the least may create awkward and embarrassing social
interactions. Thus, it is valuable to examine and understand the potential kinds of regulatory
influences that may impact people’s ability to effectively judge their ‘likeability quotient,’
particularly, as it is expressed in the “eyes of others.”
For the most part, it would seem safe to say that people typically prefer to be liked or
accepted by a group. And indeed, it appears that living in a social group may be a key element
for people to preserve their safety and welfare, and to secure other productive benefits. Thus,
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Convention