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off. She continued to explain, “Frustration is a combination of anger and
helplessness.” After a pause, she offered the final hint: “Since you said you don’t
feel anger.”
3
Megan simply offered a shy smile, and then looked away.
In this example, Eileen intervenes in an attempt to get Hannah to re-label her frustration as anger.
Megan does not respond verbally to Eileen’s attempt, but her smile offers subtle recognition of
its aim. Eileen and other facilitators’ efforts lead participants to label anger while also offering
an implicit sanctioning of its expression.
Collective Identification: Eating Disordered vs. Non-Eating Disordered
Through group participation, sufferers learn to trust their experience. Participants’ new
sense of self leads to increased assertiveness in personal relationships, as well as an affirmation
of the importance of emotion, including anger. Each of these achievements is arguably feminist.
Nevertheless, participants do not collectively identify on the basis of gender. Consider the case
of Hope, who upon arrival encountered a middle-aged man sitting in our circle. Hope
immediately leaned over and whispered into my ear: “Is he one of us?”
4
Because of his sex, she
was skeptical as to whether or not he had an eating disorder. That said, it is not his sex, but
rather his eating disorder status that situates him as an outsider. “He” could be one of “us” were
he eating disordered, despite his sex. The line between “us” and “them” delineates eating
disordered from non-eating disordered individuals. Consider further the case of Kerry, who
believes that she can identify with a man who has an eating disorder better than she can identify
with his wife:
Nervous about an upcoming vacation, Kerry explained that she and another
family had rented a vacation house for the week. “A week of communal eating,”
she announced in an anxious tone. “I’ve already started looking for all the
Starbuck’s nearby.” Others empathized. As Mitzy put it, “You always feel like
you’re eating so much, but for me it’s just the opposite. You only think you’re
eating so much.” Kerry replied, “It’ll be okay. I think the husband in the other
family has man-o-rexia, so I won’t be the only neurotic one. And I’ve seen him in
action…we’ll probably be walking to Starbuck’s together.”
Kerry assumes that she will be able to relate to friend’s husband because of his eating
disorder. The use of “man-o-rexia” suggests that Kerry does not view men’s eating
3
Earlier in the meeting, Hannah commented, unabashedly, “I don’t feel anger.”
4
This particular group periodically hosts an “open” meeting once a month, meaning that family and friends of eating
disorder sufferers are welcome to attend, which this gentleman hoped to attend.
Convention