Koski
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groups’ discussion often centers on problems that are not unique to those with eating disorders.
Many express frustration with an inability to relax. Becky bemoaned her inability to sit on the
couch and watch a television program without asking herself, “Is this okay? Can I just sit there
and watch a television show? No, I have to sew something, or make something.” In her words,
she needed to “learn how to relax.” Others expressed trouble “disconnecting.” Consider
Kathleen’s vow to be better about turning off her cell phone. Relaxation and “disconnecting” are
common problems for many Americans, including those who do not have eating disorders, as
well as those who do. Parenting is also common concern, but also one subsumed under the
eating disorder. Helen explained that she was “struggling” because she was at home with her 15
month old all day. In her words, “I’ve been spending a lot of time outside the house. Today, I
dragged her along shopping…but that’s okay.” Helen’s comment expresses both dismay, over
her isolation as a stay-at-home mom, as well as self-doubt, imbedded in her frustration. Does her
difficulty in dealing with isolation make her a bad mother? Many women who work full-time at
home likely ask themselves the same question, but for Helen, the issue arises in relation to her
eating disorder. Participants’ struggles with work, leisure, and parenting are subsumed under the
eating disorder framework. Each becomes an extension of the disorder rather than a separate
problem. In effect, the eating disorder becomes the primary lens through which participants
interpret their experience.
Group facilitators periodically attempt challenge to the eating disorder framework’s
primacy, but they have little impact. For example, Christine commented that she had equated her
weight with success, which rendered recovery painful. The facilitator, Leigh, quickly responded:
“To put it in perspective, there are other people who do the same thing with other aspect of their
lives, for instance the person who gets degree after degree after degree or the person who always
has to be the high biller at work.” Leigh’s comment makes the case that the eating disordered
individual is not unique in externalizing measures of success. However, participants ignore her
remark, apparently uninterested in exploring the possibility that their behavior may be a single
variant of a common struggle. Her comment represents an attempt to challenge participants’
frame extension, identity as eating disordered, and conception of themselves as unique.
However, the group is not interested in pursuing this line of reasoning. The topic quickly
changes to vacations, without further exploration of how eating disorders parallel other types of
coping mechanisms. Leigh makes not further attempts to reiterate her point.
Convention